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  • Writer's pictureJules

Feelings and Emotions Part 5

Updated: Mar 12, 2021

Material things have become something that temporarily sates a sorry soul

but rarely do material things heal your wounds

The primary reason why you cannot find peace is that your mind churns continuously in a cycle of angst. Your mind’s internal dialogue regurgitates the same complaints and is trying to find reasons for experiences that made you feel bad. On and on it goes in the pursuit of trying to find resolutions to bad feelings and emotions.

All of this unresolved confusion and frustration manifests as an unsatisfactory life where we continue to try and figure out how to have a happy life. Our drive to seek happiness is so strong and so commonplace that we spend most of our time trying to find it. There are songs about it, movies about it, books about and in case you’ve not noticed, there are huge economic models based around satisfying human misery.

Most often our seeking happiness is sated by short term gratification of something outside of ourselves. A new car, a new pair of shoes, a holiday, a house, or jewellery. Anything that is bling to the eyes can give a feeling of happiness, yet these feelings over things are temporary. Even wealth which can buy anything you want is a temporary state of feeling good.

Things can make your life comfortable and cosy however they are appendages that you’ve attached to yourself to function in life. Things are stuff that helps sate a sorry soul but rarely do things heal your wounds.

None of this stuff is going to stop the blah blah discursive mind for very long. It will come back

probably stronger than ever once it realizes buying things didn’t help.

What is the incentive for healing and transforming your thinking?

Imagine being able to do anything you wanted without someone judging you and without the fear of failure. Imagine what it would be like to not give a toss what anyone thought of how and why you did what you did. What if you woke up every day without the heaviness of living the same shitty day like yesterday, and the day before that and the weeks and months before that.

Can you remember what it felt like to jump out of bed and want to experience another day doing what you love to do? Maybe that has never happened to you. Maybe a few times in your life? Maybe you did it once.

Imagine knowing how to respond to someone who was deliberately putting you down without fear of confrontation. Imagine doing that with absolutely no negative feelings.

Imagine looking in the mirror every morning smiling and saying I like being you, you are a great person.

How would it feel to go to a family dinner function and not take things personally and not be affected by the usual difficult dynamic of being disrespected or ignored?

Imagine what it would be like to use your voice to say what you need to say instead of stuffing it down and then hiding from really expressing yourself.

What would life be like without the heavy cloud weighing down on your head and shoulders?

What would your life be like without anger and resentment because of past experiences? What if nothing bothered you and you smiled more? What if you could smell the roses instead of ignoring they exist?

What if your blah blah mind got off the discursive treadmill? What would it feel like to have a peaceful mind and a smile on your face for a change?

I’m going to blow my own trumpet here, scoff if you must. All of these changes I have experienced myself. After much resistance to admitting I had to change, I actually set about changing. And it feels fabulous, I feel fabulous and feel better now than at any other time in my life. How I feel now is better than graduating, better than walking down the aisle and getting married, better than job promotions, better than buying my house.

Transformation is always a work in progress, from the day you begin to the day you die. The rewards for enduring the dark tunnel is that I am now standing at the light at the end of it. In that light, there are no dark clouds weighing me down. In that light, I am able to deal with what life throws at me. I can’t say I never react however it is seldom and most things I can handle with a sense of ease.

Transformation is a usable term I can use because of the level of clarity I have obtained on my past issues. Being able to understand with maturity my reactions to difficult experiences and walk forward without regret and the holding of unfinished resolutions is a wonderful feeling. I am literally energetically lighter in my body and my mind.

The word gratitude is tossed around a lot these days, however, I can honestly feel what it is like and I apply it to myself like a badge of honour. I am so grateful I had the determination, strength and courage to overcome what was holding me back. I am now enjoying the human experience in ways I’ve never imagined I could.

The internal feeling I have is like being pleased with myself, sort of like making myself happy. There is no external stimulation for feeling this way. It is warmth from the inside. I am not always in this, it’s not 24/7 but the pilot light is there burning all the time and I can go inward at will and turn it up.

Life was always a struggle in the past, I feared so much and it hurt to live in a restricted mindset. Now I walk much lighter and life is a privilege and a joy to experience and I have the choice to be this way. Transformation has major rewards.

Onward to Part 6 Back to Part 4

I have created the Essar Program to work with you one on one to assist with overcoming your fallen ego. Do you know who you are becoming? The focus of the program is on self-awareness and awakening at a deep level. You will be guided toward changing your perspective and identity so you can move toward your higher Ego. Awareness entails seeing where your challenges are in life, your difficulties, and your struggles. As well as dismantling what no longer works for you, together we will reveal the true essence of who you are. The strengths you have will be highlighted and brought out in real terms in a practical way to help you navigate more confidently in the world. Do you know who you are when you are at your best? What would life be like if your happy moments happened more often?

Essar is an angelic presence who is on this journey with me. Together we will guide you to finding your true self to make your life better? Contact me for further details.

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