Feelings and Emotions Part 6
The invulnerable is not the one who never falls,
but the one who stands up again each time he falls.
Mastering the ability to respond and not react is a goal worth pursuing. This means slowing down your desire to react and getting an awareness of the reason behind the reaction.
The ability to be vulnerable is something to strive for. I’m referring to the ability to stay open regardless of what situation you are in. Why on earth would you place yourself in a vulnerable situation I hear you say? Let’s dissect the experience of vulnerability. The definition is the quality or state of being exposed to the possibility of being attacked or harmed, either physically or emotionally. Another term for exposure is to be open. Open to what? Most people say there is no way I’m going to be open to being attacked or harmed and it’s probably the first thing that came to mind.
To let ideas come to you, you need to be open to those ideas. The opposite is to have a closed mind which creates rigidity of thinking and eventually rigidity within the body. To be able to feel you have to be open to feeling. Are you open to new experiences?
Children do vulnerability naturally and it is part of their essence of innocence to be that way. Children are open to all experiences and to watch a child at play who is completely in their now moment is a beautiful joyful experience. It’s so infectious you can’t help be in joy yourself. Somehow watching a child takes you back to the essence of your own self, and how you used to be in that innocence before you lost it.
It is our inability to cope with painful experiences that teach us gradually to protect ourselves. We learn to navigate between the good and not so good feelings. We learn how to be on guard. In the protection mode, we have strengthened our alertness and energetically we clench our life force. This helps keep out the worst of the feelings. However, this is also our first experiences of stress.
With time we learn when to be open and when to close ourselves as protection. We learn when to be vulnerable and when not to. The greatest example of vulnerability is in the love game. Girl meets boy and at some point, they decide to be vulnerable with their feelings and get closer to each other. All going well this vulnerability leads to a heightened experience of feeling love.
Love is one of those ultimate feelings you aspire to feel. However, after multiple incidences of neglect, rejection and possibly abuse, we learn that to open is dangerous. Even though we want it beyond all wantings, we teach ourselves that we will never be vulnerable again. We learn that being vulnerable is taking a chance at something that eventually will hurt and in some cases we hurt badly for taking that chance.
In the event that we now refuse to be vulnerable again, we are in essence closed off to the possibility of love. Life becomes controlled and safe because we have protected ourselves against anything or anyone that may hurt us again. Then our ability to trust outside circumstances becomes limited, repeated hurt from outside circumstances teaches us that people are not to be trusted. And then it’s quite possible that resentment comes in because we’ve managed to blame someone else for having hurt us. And on and on it goes, the hamster wheel spins with all the reasons for closing off.
So why is vulnerability so important? There are layers and layers to feeling, from gentle sensations to the euphoric mind-altering kind. One of the most important reasons I can think of is to do with spiritual connections. Yes, I’ve been in love, was married at one point so I know what love feels like. I have also had an intense sexual life where heightened feelings were normal. However, the most extraordinarily sensual experiences I’ve ever had were from angelic resonance.
Angelic resonance happens through the feeling senses. It is an etheric sensation where your life force is involved. This was not an experience of thinking and vision, like seeing an angel and it was over there and I was here. This was not from the mind. It was a bodily sensory experience that was beyond anything I’d experienced before in terms of love. The only reason I had that experience was that I was open to it. I was able to let go of all past thoughts and elevate my consciousness and receive what was being given to me.
This angelic experience left me devastated because what I thought was love from my human experience paled into insignificance by comparison. Only 15 minutes afterwards I collapsed in tears because for the first time in this life I understood what we were all seeking deep deep inside.
At the time, instead of maintaining the glorious feeling, I saw the sadness in not being able to keep it. I knew that it would require trust and vulnerability to open at that level more and more. My aim was to not fall so badly and that requires taking a chance on myself to do it.
Vulnerability is that place where things happen. There are chances that bad things could happen, but that is determined by how you navigate your life and the environment you are in and the perceptions you choose. Learning when to be open and when not to be is a good skill to have. I mean really, do you want to have your energy open when going to a rubbish dump? You know when you are up for taking a chance and when to protect yourself. The thing to learn is to not close off and spend the rest of your life defensive and protected – from everything.
Being vulnerable takes practice and requires knowhow. A bit of street-smarts is good. Even if you are in a situation of confrontation, say you’re having an argument with your friend and it gets a bit hairy. The worst thing you could do is close off and stomp off in a huff because you don’t like how it feels, it’s uncomfortable and you think you are not supposed to be hurting in the company of a friend. Instead, let the argument happen. See each other’s different points of view. Understand this is your friend here and you’d like to keep this friendship. The feeling is uncomfortable and you don’t know what will happen. You could get hurt, actually, it probably is hurting. Do you close or stay open? How emotionally mature are you in this situation?
Vulnerability requires strength. You need to brave the circumstances of possibly being hurt in order to achieve it. I am by no means condoning you stay in a situation that is physically violent and will cause harm. I trust you know the difference.
Being open to possibilities is way better than staying safe and being pseudo-protected inside your own mind. Consider your beliefs about vulnerability and why you do it and what being open could bring to your life.
Being on guard in every moment, suspicious and controlling is not a good way to live. It is stressful both to the mind and the body and nothing fun is likely to happen while you are in this state of being. When you ponder the age-old universal question who am I, the answers will not come from staying in a closed state of being, unless you want to define yourself as a scared rabbit. The real you is beyond your created limitations. The real you is beyond your fallen ego. The real you knows how to ride the transformed Ego. However, it takes the ability to be vulnerable to embody the real you in the world.
Why be ordinary when you can be extraordinary?
To overcome your fallen ego consider the Essar Program. Do you know who you are becoming? The focus of the program is on self-awareness and awakening at a deep level. You will be guided toward changing your perspective and identity so you can move toward your higher Ego. Awareness entails seeing where your challenges are in life, your difficulties, and your struggles. As well as dismantling what no longer works for you, together we will reveal the true essence of who you are. The strengths you have will be highlighted and brought out in real terms in a practical way to help you navigate more confidently in the world. Do you know who you are when you are at your best? What would life be like if your happy moments happened more often?
Essar is an angelic presence who is on this journey with me. Together we will guide you to finding your true self to make your life better? Contact me for further details.