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  • Writer's pictureJules

Feelings and Emotions Part 8 Moving toward Solutions

From Then to Now

Hopefully, this series has given you a simple and useful foundational guide to understanding the messy mechanics of feelings and emotions in our human experience. This series is a prelude to understanding our personality traits which we individually moulded as a result of our experiences. The next series titled, Knowing The Self – Who Am I, will get into the nitty-gritty of how we humans act out.

So far we have gained knowledge on the difference between an emotion and feeling. Knowing the difference helps us define the mechanics of our responses and reactions and by slowing them down we can more easily make a choice moving forward on how to manage these human experiences.

We learned how we block our emotions because we don’t have the know-how of dealing with them. Our physical and mental health is affected by our emotional maturity, and it is something we all need to master to have a wholesome life. Our formative years are very important in how we cope and we have imprints from unresolved issues that spill into our adult lives. The root cause of many problems is covered over by personality traits we are not conscious we have.

We also learned how we look for things to give us moments of feel-good pleasure instead of facing ourselves and being vulnerable to the challenges of being human. Our desire to be comfortable, safe and protected is more preferable, yet often unrewarding long term.

Then we learned how blockages and emotional immaturity cause stress in both the mind and body. Our overall health both physically and mentally primarily stems from our perceptions of life and our ability to navigate it. Yes, there are environmental and dietary factors also, and our lot in life is reliant on our navigating abilities on all the experiences we have.

On The Road to A Solution

We all want a pleasant life and we all want to rid ourselves of suffering. Many of us look toward something external to fix our problems. The blame game: it’s his fault, my parents were terrible, etc., become normal dialogue when it comes to our emotions. Yet complaining never changes our experience. I love this saying by Dr Samuel Sagan We don’t change by solving our problems, we solve our problems by changing.

Even if you did have past experiences that were difficult, no one can erase the experience, no one can fix it for you. Yes, people can comfort you and give compassion, but ultimately it is only you who can overcome. Your perception and attitude, responses and reactions are in your hands solely. It is by taking a different standpoint that we change how we deal with experiences. Regardless of your upbringing, it is in your hands to change your circumstances.

You are not alone here. For many of us, we still have some learning to do. It is not easy to change when you don’t know how and you don’t know what it is within you that needs to change. This is a serious statement. Most of our experiences are projections outside of ourselves. We see everything as an external event, something happening out there. You think it is them who is the problem and they have to change. Sure, they may have to change, but you telling them to won't make a difference. You only have power over your own reality, your own experiences, your own attitudes and perceptions and your own reactions and responses.

Perceptions and Attitudes

All of our senses pull us outward – what we see, feel, smell, hear, taste. We see events as if they are a movie, except they are more real because we are in it. We see all these things going on and our perception is commonly out there with all those sensory experiences, with all those other people. We are looking at them and they are doing things and they act and react also. Yet it is inside of ourselves where our perceptions and attitudes reside. All of those external actions by other people has an effect on you. It doesn’t matter what they are doing, good or bad, your perception of their actions depends on you. Your attitude, perception and navigation skills define the effects within your own self.

It is not easy to change your attitudes if you are still reacting or being triggered by the actions of others. This is not because of their actions, it is because you have not learned how to deal with the trigger. There are people out there who are boisterous, strong, assertive, spontaneous, or jokesters who mean you no harm, yet you could feel unsafe among them because you don’t know how to be around them. You see danger instead of opportunity. You prefer to protect yourself just in case, instead of holding yourself confidently amid their company.

What if, when you were growing up, you were taught how to be around strong people and not feel agitated or upset? You wouldn’t have a problem with them, you’d know what to do and you’d know how to be. Your perception and attitude would be different.

The Melting Pot

There are many and varied personalities in the world. We can take scenarios of differences to the extreme and they include race, colour, cultures, languages, male, female, young, old, education, upbringing and beliefs. We are not all the same. We look differently and act differently. However, we do not have to be estranged from people because they are different to us or because we are out of our comfort zones in their presence.

In many cases our discomfort is not because the other person is a threat, it can be because the other person has traits that make you feel uncomfortable. This is you not having knowhow. A scenario is someone is assertive and popular. You hate them because you are not able to portray being assertive and you are not popular because others know you hate people. How about instead of hating them, you learned how to be assertive, which could make you popular.

How you fit in regardless of differences is in your hands. How you be in the world is determined by your perceptions and attitudes in how you navigate any given moment.

The Change You Want To See In The World

In transformation work, it’s important to understand reflection from a normal standpoint. Everything that is happening in your life is like a projection from your own movie screen. All that happens will give you experiences and how you experience events is determined by you. Use discernment and not judgment here. What is any experience teaching you about yourself? It’s all coming from your projector. Are you intimidated or empowered? Are you strong or rendered a weakling? Are you laughing your head off, or feeling ridiculed? Are you disgusted or allowing?

At least slow down your experience to find the answer. Instead of projecting outward with your response, go inward and feel the impact of the encounter and ask yourself why am I feeling this way? What is it in me that is being triggered by their actions?

Transformation work means changing and revealing all of the blocks that are preventing you from being an extraordinary human being and having a pleasant life. Sadly, we have a reluctance to change, often because we don’t see that we individually are the problem. You can only change the world by changing yourself.

Collectively we are making a mess, our world is not as healthy as it should be. Only by all of us changing individually and being cohesive with our feelings, emotions and thoughts can we create the world we want to be in. When we fully get the concept that everything outside is a reflection of our internal world, when we fully understand that we are the persecutor and persecuted, the giver and receiver, the killer and the thief, the victim and the predator, the winner and the loser, we will see ourselves united as one and not be separated because of our judgments and distrust of ourselves.

Who do we become?

When we choose to change our thinking, our perceptions and attitudes, when we transform ourselves from the fallen-ness that is the little ego, we can strive to place light into the darkness and become who we truly are. The essence of who we are is not the fallen wretch who suffers. Your higher self in human form contains the conscious recollection of the essence of spirit. Our higher self in human form chooses to ride all the difficult waves and learns how to stay upright amid the most difficult of challenges. Being centred and strong and open regardless of the confrontations is the aim of the spiritual initiate. This state is called Enlightened Vulnerability and is the ability to remain open and let all adversity pass through.

Our Higher Self in human form is beautiful, strong, courageous, humble and will be known as an extraordinary human being. This is the aspiration and desire of the spiritual initiate. This state of being is inside every one of us.

You have enormous potential which may have remained untapped until now. Our human experience can be wonderful if only our attitude and perception allowed it. How are your experiences for you? Where are you situated on the spectrum of darkness to light? Do you spend more time suffering or having pleasant experiences?

The next series will give you incite to revealing your likely negative traits as well as familiar positive traits so you can see where you stand consciously in your human journey. If you don’t want to wait and prefer the quick route to know your potential, send an email and we can have a chat.

For those new to this series on emotions and feelings, you may want to start at the beginning.

I have created the Essar Program where I work one on one with you to assist with self-awareness and help you to flush out your fallen ego. You are then guided to change your focus and rise to your higher Ego which is the platform for the higher self. This entails seeing where your challenges are in life, your difficulties, and your struggles. Revealing the real you requires a deconstruction of all that is not you which present as blocks in your life. There is so much potential waiting for you to use so you can experience the magic of a fulfilling human experience. Contact me for further details.

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